Growing Children

Hello Ladies,

It's been awhile. We have been very busy on the road! I have also been busy starting and growing my review and giveaway blog.

Anyway, I was talking with a fellow street preachers wife and we were discussing how many parents shelter their children too much. Now, before you get upset, read through what I have to say and see if you agree.

Traveling around and visiting different churches I get to see a lot of parents and children and how they interact. I get to see how much they actually train or don't train. Before I go on here let me say, we are not perfect. We are constantly learning and readjusting, but I believe having six children, two of whom are at 23 and 25 are still traveling with us and serving the Lord, two teenage boys who are out on the street ministering with their dad, and two younger girls that are following in their sisters footsteps, that perhaps this might be something that would be helpful.

As a mother it is your job to shelter and train your child. You start out when they are very young and you guide them and protect them from things that could harm them. You should be deciding who their friends are and what they are allowed to do. You decide what they watch, the books they read, what they do for pleasure and play. This is like starting seeds inside under a plastic cover or with a plastic bag wrapped around them. You don't expose them to any harsh weather or extremes that may stunt their growth, damage them or even end the life of the plant.

But, as the plant grows, you remove the covering, still keeping the plant inside the house, sitting in the window still protected from harm. I compare this to when we take our child shopping and we actually start to point out things that are sinful or bad and begin to train a little more. We used to point to the beer, and alcohol in the store and say "Are you ever going to touch that stuff?" and they would respond "No!" usually rather emphatically because it was a little game to them. Before you raise your eyebrows and say, "You actually walked your children down the alcohol aisle on purpose?" Yes! For one it is usually on the same aisle as a main staple we use, like water or bread, but I wanted it instilled in them while they were young that alcohol and wine were bad. Same with cigarettes and magazines, or anything else that we saw. Billboards, music in restaurants, even different styles of dress.

As your young plant grows and begins more hardy and able to bear more, you move it outside. Sometimes under cover again, or with strings to attach it to a small pole to guide it's growth. During this time period, because all along they have been receiving training and have been fed the Word of God and have been nurtured, we begin to expose them to a little more. I may allow them to read books that I have not personally read (Use your head on this!), but that I have heard from a friend that it is a good book or maybe we saw at a church, and tell them if they find anything in it that is wrong to let me know. You would be amazed at what your children will bring to you when you have trained them to watch for things. This is also the time when they can play with friends and not be under your eye at all times. Everyone of my plants has been trained to tell me if friends bring up something inappropriate or uses language they shouldn't, or if they talk casually and constantly of things of the world. Once again they have been trained for this stage. Just as you watch your plant and decide they are ready for more exposure to the elements, you should do the same with your children.

Eventually, you know that your plant is hardy and can withstand more. We take our children to events to preach under our supervision. They do not wander off with friends, they stay near us where not only are we preaching and witnessing, but we are training. They can see the results of sin. They see what rock and country music produce. They see the person throwing up in the gutter from drinking alcohol, or the foolish way they act when they have been drinking. They see the young girl who is hanging on a young man, no longer pure and selling herself just for some affection. We use these opportunities to train the children. Tell them what happens when you sin and disobey the Lord and His Word. On the way home from witnessing we discuss people we have talked to and even how sin has kept them from accepting Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

Mothers, your children can not stay in the little hothouse you have created for them forever. If you keep them there until it is time for them to step out on their own, you have most likely ruined them. They will not be able to survive, because they have never been exposed or trained. Realize I am not talking about walking into a bar, allowing them to wade in sin, I am saying allowing them with you at their side to see the results of sin. I am seeing more and more children who are never trained about the results of sin, wallowing in the pigpen of sin the moment mom and dad lose control. Why? This child was sheltered from the results of sin and was never trained by the Word of God and mom and dad why certain things are wrong. I have seen too many parents say alcohol is wrong. Why? Because, I said so! How about giving your child some verses and telling them the results of sin. If you keep your plant in a hothouse for years, and then suddenly put them outside with no support, or preparation, they will be damaged and possibly not survive. Perhaps you will stunt their growth permanently, and they will never become what God wanted them to be. If they never spent time tied to the pole to guide their growth, they will fall and possibly grow in a direction they are not supposed to go.

Remember through out all this they are being fed the Word of God and watered, and guided. And, remember I am not saying allow them to experiment with sin. What I am saying is if they never are told, and they never see the results of sin and how it can ruin lives, when they are finally outside, chances are they will be damaged.

Just as an extra note, our home church has a boy's academy where my husband has been able to assist at times and talk with the boys and you would be amazed at how many boys who come from sheltered homes, tell him they feel like they are missing out. Or they just want the chance to experiment with things. Why? Because in many of their homes mom and dad just said no, and never explained why, or showed them the results of sin.

I am not teaching that you should not shelter, but I am using an example to show if you continually shelter and never prepare the plant (child) for exposure, you are dooming your plant. I hope this helps some one out there, and feel free to comment.